the most dad thing that my dad does:
every time my mom asks him to pass her something that she can’t reach, he will attempt to use the force in order to move it
it’s just this
for like, five seconds
before he busts out laughing at himself
pears are weird texture-wise
at least, that’s what my mouth tells me
so i’m reading the fic ‘if garlic and i had a baby, i would eat it’
and i’m just saying
but now i want a knotting fic titled, ‘if garlic had knots, baby, i’d take it up the butt’
oh yeah i have a doctor’s appointment today
Wait, another creepy relationship? wth ro
no no, same creepy relationship. same one you’re thinking about with the creepy stalker like behavior and the showing up at my house at 3am to decorate my trees and that whole shebang.
did you at least play tongue hockey??? okay i’ll stop now ;)
hahah! noooo. but the next time my life seems to be turning into a fic, i promise that i’ll take advantage of it.
important question did you join the mile high club with him
nope. i was too nervous about it being my first trip all on my own to even think about joining the mile high club. (plus, i was fresh out of a relationship that had a creepy end to it. the timing of this whole thing was poor.)
I was waiting at the airport and I saw a wallet — money, cards, plane ticket and everything — sitting on the chairs near me, 10000% abandoned. I picked it up, figuring I’d wait a few minutes to see if someone came looking for it, and if no one came hunting in that time, I’d turn it over to the airport officials so that they could call the owner.
Not a minute later, handsome fellow came frantically over to the chairs, searching over and under them. Jackpot!
"Is this yours?" I asked, raising the wallet I’d found.
"Yes!" he said. "Thank god."
A few minutes later, my flight got called for seating. We shook hands, gathered our things, and stood around until we could board. We went our separate ways.
Or so we thought.
Turned out, we were sitting next to each other on the flight, and we spent the next nine hours in very good company.
can i have fics where stiles chooses to love peter
i fucking live for clean shaven dickface peter hale, aspiring would-be junior partner of a law firm, shmoozing and generally douchebagging it up with the elites of the city, getting his name out there and passing out his business cards like fucking candy.
and then stiles. the only son of mayor stilinski.
peter drying his hands at the bathroom sink, taking his time because there’s some gossiping going on at the urinals. peter hears things about stiles, things his dear daddy would be appalled to find out.
let me tell you a thing
working thirteen hour night shifts is like. i can’t even explain the weird things it’s done to my body. i am so sleep deprived and i switch back to day shifts tomorrow morning.
so i’m going to sleep, forever. and then get back to the messages i got while i was gone.
i forgot today was monday
It feels weird but cool to be able to add something to a post that’s making the rounds. Also pretty amused that I’m doing it at 1:30am.
i’d love to keep going like, forever. but i have to be awake again in six hours, so i’m gonna have to cut this short. sorry about that.