do u ever have a thought that’s so fuckin inappropriate that u feel like dumping a bucket of water on urself like. calm down, self. tone it down. think about jesus
I hate it when you get too fucked up from drinking and then you can’t drink certain drinks anymore because it tastes like that time you almost died.
it doesn’t matter how many “pretend to be dating” fics i read, i’m always fucking in it headfirst every time and i fall for that shit every time. i know the pattern i know the plot twists i know what’s gonna happen but every single fucking time i’m fucking on the edge of my seat wide-eyed whispering like “what’s gonna happen are they gonna fall in love” to myself like of course they are you fucking idiot this happens EVERY TIME but as soon as i see the description and it’s like “x person and x person pretend to do the dating” it’s eternal sunshine of the stupidest fucking mind over here
did you know that bashing my ship increases your chances of changing my opinion by 0%
if u can’t imagine ur otp on a long road trip together with no set destination in mind with things happening like their car breaking down at one point or stopping at a store to argue over what snacks to buy and taking turns driving while the other rests and checking into a little inn or hotel on the way and pulling off to just chill and look at the sky together do u really ship it
when im a parent i won’t take my kid’s electronics when they get in trouble i’ll just take the charger so i can watch the fear in their eyes as they use it less and less while the battery slowly begins to run out
Stop right there, Satan.
i dont even have guilty pleasures anymore i just like stuff and if people have a problem with that they can go fuck themselves
People have written a lot of touchy-feely pieces on this subject but I thought I’d get right to the heart of the matter
This is 1000% more motivating than every preachy “real writers write every day” post on all of Tumblr.
the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bag despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life